Better Together: Committing, Completely.
Welcome to Better Together. The newsletter focused on showing you how amazing your marriage can be, and not afraid to tell you what it really takes to get there. Each week we give you a brief glimpse into our lives and three potentially life-changing ideas to help you become a better partner. We hope that you will find this newsletter inspirational and practical.
We believe that “close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives.” [1] We believe that by strengthening marriages, and families, we can improve the world at large.
We hope you will help us share this vision. Please consider sharing this newsletter with others via: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, or email.
1. the Grant Study, a 75-year-long Harvard research project on human development
From Our Lives
Kelli and I have been learning to be more open with each other.
Words like “I feel embarrassed about something I did today”, or “I am nervous about…”, or “It really annoys me when you…”, or “I would really appreciate it if you would…” are coming out of our mouths more frequently than ever before.
We want to *really* let our spouse into our world. We want them to understand us. Not just from our actions, but also by giving them insights into our thoughts, motivations, doubts, insecurities, and successes.
Why? Two brains are better than one, for starters.
But even more importantly, so that we can truly be there for each other.
We want to be able to recognize when our spouse needs a push, and when they need a hug. We want our spouse to know us well enough to do the same for us.
“I'm looking for someone who uh... someone I can trust. Someone strong, someone at peace with themselves. Someone better than me. Someone who knows the... worst side of me and still loves me.” - Patrick Jane from the T.V. show “The Mentalist”.
What We Have Been Reading
“Life is not always a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well.”
— Jack London
“Don’t be nice, be kind — Being nice is to be agreeable, to please others. Being nice is glossing over difficulties to avoid making people feel uncomfortable. Being nice could even be seen as selfish— to spare oneself the discomfort of doing something difficult, and say nothing at all. In contrast, you cannot be kind by doing nothing. Being kind necessitates benevolent action, and this may require being disagreeable. Telling someone who is failing that they are failing is undoubtedly uncomfortable to say and displeasing to hear. Coupling that feedback with helping them understand why and how to overcome this challenge, is a great act of kindness.”
“Commitment is a choice we make every single day, over and over again. We choose it even when we are tired and overworked and stressed out. We choose it no matter what attractive person crosses our path. We also choose it every time our partner makes a bid for attention and we put down our book, or look away from the television, or up from our smartphone, or stop whatever it is we’re occupied with to acknowledge their importance in our life. This acknowledgement may call for just a smile or for a conversation, but whatever it calls for, we authentically try to deliver. When we make our relationship a priority by showing that it’s a priority, we build trust and demonstrate our loyalty far beyond any words we say in our wedding vows.”
— “8 Dates” by John and Julie Gottman
Call To Action
Please help us by filling out our anonymous survey!
Now, go give your spouse a hug and tell them you love them!
Written and published by Nathan & Kelli.
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